So, it appears that all the exuberant energy I had a week ago was a disguise. I wasn't on my game on Saturday. Sunday I felt terrible. I was grumpy, emotional, tired, unable to concentrate. But managed to do the dishes and get some gardening done, and had a refreshing shower. Monday morning arrives and I sure as hell know that I am very sick.
FUCKING ALLERGIES!!!
I have a bacterial infection in my nose. And feel like I want to crawl away and die. This is a bad one I tell mumma. I can see that you're not looking all that well. She says. Better leave me alone I warn her.*
I drag myself out to the shops to pay bills and buy some DVDs and other stuff - all the while not making sense to anyone, being disoriented and hungry!
I sweat through my clothing and sit in my car to have food at 5pm.
I arrive home and just crumble. Am in bed by 8pm and mumma has me in tears by midnight!
Today was a quiet time for me till mumma woke up and started on me with the I don't understand bullshit.
I totally lost my shit and had a demoralising breakdown where I just shed tears. And felt really vulnerable.
I hate feeling like this. And know that there is nothing I can do except wait for the infection to leave my body. (Am immune to antibiotics for it now).
It is a bad one this time around. I haven't had an infection for a while. This one is fucking with my mind and awful lot more than usual.
The good thing is I am aware of it. And this is the first time I am writing about it also. I must be strong and not let it beat me to the ground.
*Mumma didn't listen. :'(
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